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Dear Mr. & Mrs. Scott: Who wears the pants in YOUR house? 🧐


In Episode 011 of The Naked Proverbs podcast, Rich and Nik Scott discuss the gender roles they play in their marriage and how they impact their relationship.



Nik:

Welcome back to the Naked Proverbs podcast where we unclothed the truth about black love family and marriage. My name is Nik Scott, one of your hosts and I'm here with my husband,

Rich:

What's going on? It's your boy Rich, and today we're talking about gender roles.

Nik:

Right at the beginning of every episode of Naked Proverbs, we always have to remind our listeners that we are not trained or licensed or professional therapists or counselors. We use Naked Proverbs as a platform to share our stories, our experience and our advice over the past almost two decades of marriage. If you haven't already, make sure that you are following Naked Proverbs on whatever podcasting platform you listen to your podcasts on. And if you like what you hear, make sure you stop by and show us your love and support. By giving us a five-star rating on iTunes.

Rich:

That's five stars y'all. My wife just told me that someone famous started following us.

Nik:

Yes.

Rich:

Thank you. I'm not gonna shout your name out. I won't put you on blast. But uh, yeah, we movin on up y'all. We got famous people on TV that are following Naked Proverbs. Now, I don't want to make it sound like we don't care about people that aren't famous,

Nik:

Right.

Rich:

Because y'all been with us since day one. So, you know, we love y'all. You always gotta love your day ones. But I mean, it's kind of cool when you have somebody that's, you know, kind of famous out there tuning in. So, thank y'all for tuning in and for supporting us. We truly appreciate it.

Nik:

Yes, we do.

Rich:

Let's chit chat about Power.

Nik:

Oh. Okay, let's talk about Power.

Rich:

Who killed Ghost? Let's be real.

Nik:

The mid-season finale.

Rich:

Everybody want to know who killed ghost?

Nik:

I think it was Tasha.

Rich:

For real?

Nik:

I think it was his wife.

Rich:

You think it was...girl. Wait a minute. You trying to say something to me?

Nik:

You've seen Snapped before, haven't you?

Rich:

Yeah, you bout to snap on me? Jesus! Well, I think it was his son. I do.

Nik:

Why?

Rich:

Because you can't have Power 2 without a remix. The remix being his son wants to be a drug dealer. His son wants to be like him. His son is pissed. He made the comment. I was about your age when I knocked off my first guy.

Nik:

He did say that. But I think it's Tasha because this whole season so far, Tasha has been flexing this gangsta muscle that we have never seen her flex before. Like shooting her best friend LaKisha point blank square in the middle of her forehead.

Rich:

Carmelo, your wife got shot in the head man.

Nik:

I don't think they're married anymore, are they?

Rich:

Well, they should be listening to Naked Proverbs so they can stay married.

Nik:

But I think it was Tasha.

Rich:

You know what, though? I think the crazy thing is when you stop and you think about the people we talking about. We're not saying it could have been his girlfriend's sister. We're not saying it could have been his drug dealing, buddy. We're not saying it could have been Andre the snitch. We are legit. We both just came up with family members. Man, I don't know how I feel if I thought my wife wanted to kill me or my daughters.

Nik:

Yeah, I mean, that's real, but that is there. I feel like we have all come from a certain level of dysfunction in our families, right. I'll be the first to admit my family, you know, I love y'all and I know y'all listen, but we dysfunctional. However, I don't think the level of dysfunction that we see on Power, I don't know anybody like that in real life.

Rich:

Oh, my boy, did shoot his son.

Nik:

Who shot the son?

Rich:

You're my boy my hunting buddy.

Nik:

Oh.

Rich:

Yeah, don't act like it can't happen y'all. Or we had a my childhood friend killed his wife when I was growing up.

Nik:

Yeah.

Rich:

So, yeah maybe mom maybe I've got a little more dysfunction on my side of the world than you. But yeah hey this stuff seemed real to me because I hadn't seen it happen. Okay I ain't see it happen but I heard it happened

Nik:

And you know people who...

Rich:

And I knew the people who did this crazy stuff so that's why I'm like man

Nik:

Like Power hitting a little too close to home but why is Andre not dead anyway why is he even alive enough to even be a consideration as to who killed Ghost

Rich:

Because you want to just take care of his baby that's all he wants in life.

Nik:

Whatever. No, he doesn't. Where's that baby even at? Matter of fact Where is Ghost and Tasha's baby at? We don't ever see that baby.

Rich:

Yeah that baby just never around. I think she probably with her grandma cuz she the only sane one in the family.

Nik:

Yeah, but who do y'all think shot Ghost? Do y'all even think ghosts was shot? Because I saw on social media somebody made the speculation that maybe this was all a dream.

Rich:

I saw that and then I also saw somebody say, no matter what he ain't dead. Now I don't think he's what was his, Angela, he ain't Angela dead. He ain't Proctor dead. Yeah, he ain't Proctor dead. Yeah, he ain't dead like that. I think that if anything, he gonna come back some kind of way. But uh,

Nik:

What?

Rich:

Yeah. Man, that was sad y'all. I ain't gonna lie. It took a long time though for him to get to the point because it was kind of a long boring episode. So, whoever your writers are. I'm gonna keep it real. Y'all almost lost me. But I just stuck in there. And I'm glad I did. Because then I wouldn't be able to sit here and talk about Ghost getting shot.

Nik:

Ghost is unstoppable.

Rich:

Can't nobody stop me.

Nik:

He's on top of the world.

Rich:

I run this.

Nik:

He running it.

You're listening to the Naked Proverbs podcast with Rich and Nik Scott. If you like what you're hearing, show your support by becoming a patron. All of our patrons receive exclusive benefits, like behind the scenes content, access to bonus audio, and Naked Proverbs merchandise to learn more become a patron. Visit the Naked Proverbs Patreon page at www.patreon.com/nakedproverbs

Rich:

Who wears the pants in your family?

Nik:

I wear pants almost every single day.

Rich:

But if we're going to talk about gender roles, we need to really know who wears the pants up in the house.

Nik:

But what does that even mean? Who wears the pants? How does anybody determine who's wearing the pants? If I were if I'm wearing pants you wearing pants? What does that even mean? And how does that even get determined?

Rich:

Who stand up to pee?

Nik:

Oh my gosh, does that really what that means?

Rich:

No, it doesn't. I was just asking.

Nik:

Because if that's if that's how you determine who wears the pants, or who's supposed to be wearing the pants in the house, then technically only the humans in the house with penises wear the pants.

Rich:

She said penis y'all.

Nik:

I mean, people who have vaginas aren't standing up to pee.

Rich:

They haven't little cup things that they can.

Nik:

They're not standing up.

Rich:

Oh well, I don't know, cuz I never had one of them on.

Nik:

Wait. What are you talking about?

Rich:

I got these little cups that you put right here. I saw him at like, or. And then it allows a woman to be able to stand up to pee because he like makes her have like a funnel that it flows into. Yeah, so it funnels from the vagina, and then it goes out like a penis.

Nik:

No way.

Rich:

Yeah.

Nik:

So, do you attach it?

Rich:

No, you just hold it. I guess. I got a penis. How would I know?

Nik:

Gosh, I have to look this up.

Rich:

Yeah, it's called the vajayjay pee-er.

Nik:

Wow. Okay, so but yeah, if that is the threshold if you stand up to pee, and apparently,

Rich:

I would hope that is a better threshold than that in anybody's life.

Nik:

But I think that when we're talking about who wears the pants in the house, it's really talking about who's making the money in the house. Whoever's making the money typically is the one that quote unquote, wears the pants in the house.

Rich:

But I think that is so broken. I mean, we've had this conversation, because there have been times that you've worked, and I wasn't working. There have been times that I was working, and you weren't working. There have been times that you made more money than me. There's been times I made more money than you. So, if we strictly place it on work and making money, then it would constantly be changing.

Nik:

So, then how do you determine who's wearing the pants? What, what are the point of what's the point of gender roles in a marriage?

Rich:

Well, I think the first thing that we have to kind of discuss is what are gender roles, like people talk about gender roles, right? But what are we talking about? So, I think when I think of gender roles, I think of like, who’s washing the dishes, who's cutting the grass, who's taking the trash out, who's working the nine to five, who's watching the kids. But reality is there are other things that we could talk about as well that are just as important that oftentimes I feel like get overlooked because it's not the man doing it. So, it's easily swept under the table, who scheduling parent teacher conferences, who's scheduling doctor's appointments? Like those are all roles that have to be filled in a marriage or in a family. And I think that we get focused on who's the breadwinner, and who's watching the kids. And we don't talk about all the other little roles that make up gender roles as a whole.

Nik:

The fact of the matter is in a marriage, it takes two people. And in our marriage, those two people are of two different genders. And even if they are of the same gender, how do you determine who's cutting the grass? Does it automatically have to be the man who cuts the grass does it automatically have to be the woman who cooks? I do think that in healthy marriages, there are established and defined gender roles, but I don't necessarily agree anymore, because I think I've evolved in this area, that it has to be the traditional man do the man work woman do the woman work. And we said this before in our podcast and our marriage and in our structure, we do have a lot of traditional gender roles. But we also have some untraditional gender roles in our marriage too.

Rich:

Even when you think of when our children were younger. And if I watched the children while you were gone off doing something, I was quote unquote, babysitting. But when you have the kids, that's just the norm like mama supposed to have the kids Daddy, if he has the kids, and he's babysitting, he's doing something outside the norm. He's doing something big. Like oh, you have a husband that watches the kids. And I think that falls back into these superficial creations of what gender roles are. I look at it like we both had children. We chose to have children together we have children. So, why should it just be your responsibility to raise them or why should it be just your responsibility to cook and I can say this from my family. Three generations ago, my grandmother was pretty much a stay at home mom. She did some odd jobs. Here and there, but my grandfather was in the military, and he provided the bacon. And she put it in the pan. When it came to some of these gender roles that we look at now, they were pretty defined, because it was like, well, you're at home. I'm out here, serving the country trying to save the world from craziness or whatever. And it was pretty clear. Then, you know, we had a lot of change happen between my grandmother and my mother's generation, because we had women's rights movements, we had civil rights. We had all these things that were happening, and they were changing what gender roles look like.

Nik:

Well, first of all, I want to go back to something that you said a few seconds ago. If you are saying that you're babysitting your own kids, stop it. Because you're not babysitting your own kids. You are a caregiver, you are a provider, you are a parent, you are a father, you are a mother, to your children, you're not a babysitter. So, if there is ever a conversation or a discussion, and this didn't necessarily happen in our marriage when the girls are younger. Now you did used to say I'm babysitting

Rich:

Because I was.

Nik:

No, you weren't.

Rich:

I was sitting with the babies.

Nik:

Oh, Lord. You were not babysitting your own kids, if you don't babysit your own kids, so if you're saying it, please stop, please, please stop. And it's usually the husbands that are saying that asinine stuff. Secondly, you bring up a very good point about gender roles. And that is how you're brought up and what you see in your own family and how that impacts and shapes what you believe a gender role is. And for me, for a large part of my childhood, my parents were divorced. So, it wasn't very clear defined gender roles in my house. It wasn't like me; my mom did cook. She did a lot of cooking, but I mean, she was the only parent at that time because my dad he cooked also and then for me as a child being raised primarily by my father, I learned how to cut grass. I learned how to take out trash and

Rich:

Wait a minute. You know how to cut grass?

Nik:

I cut grass the whole time that you were deployed in Iraq.

Rich:

I ain't never seen it.

Nik:

I ain't never cut the grass since you've been around. Why? I don't need to cut the grass when I got you.

Rich:

Ain't that what we're talking about? Gender roles? So, it's my role to cut the grass?

Nik:

I mean, don't you enjoy cutting the grass?

Rich:

Okay, so I'll be real. I do like cutting the grass because it's peaceful and I'ma let y'all see fully behind the veil. I am an instant gratification kind of guy. So, cutting the grass gives me instant gratification. I'm able to see the little lines and it's all nice and pretty. Plus, I don't want you to mess up my yard accidentally

Nik:

And you've said that because I don't mind cutting the grass. I've shoveled the snow for you.

Rich:

You're right.

Nik:

Many times.

Rich:

Yeah, I got bad back y'all.

Nik:

Well, it's not because he asked me or wanted me to do it, I did it because I know that he works. And the last thing that he wants to do sometimes coming home from a long day at work is having to shovel the driveway in order to pull his truck into the garage. So, I don't mind doing those kinds of things for my husband. Now, that's not something that's not a task that I'm personally willing to take on in our marriage. Because, I mean, have you seen my fingernails?

Rich:

You know what, though? I had this conversation with my fraternity brothers not too long ago. And we were talking about gender roles and responsibilities. And you know, because I have a lot of fraternity brothers here in the local area that aren't married. So, they kind of want to know well, how do things work for you and your marriage or, different people. And I made the comment. my wife is more than capable of pulling the trash out washing her car, pumping her gas, shoveling the snow cutting the grass, whatever it is. But I personally don't want my queen doing those things. So, it's not about gender roles means you're not capable. And I think a lot of times, that's how its treated is treated as well. You should never cook Rich because your wife is capable and cooks and I probably shouldn't ever cook. When I used to try to cook honestly, my family wouldn't eat.

Nik:

That's not true. I used to eat it.

Rich:

See how she even said that, I used to eat it. Like, you know, it wasn't the best food. And my mom taught me how to cook. You know, because my mother was a mom, that taught me the importance of you need to be able to stand on your own no matter what. Now, I would say I probably paid closer attention to my father and the things he was teaching me than I did to my mother in the kitchen. Now, my little brother, he can cook he can make it happen.

Nik:

Yeah.

Rich:

Now, I can make you breakfast. I can make some pancakes and bacon some eggs, but you start talking about some real cooking and even following a recipe. I'm not very good. And I think though that sometimes that can be an excuse in a marriage. I can't cook. Okay, can I take lessons? Can I come watch you? Are there ways that I can help? So, that's something I have tried to do is I'll come in and I'll be like do you want me to chop up the vegetables.

Nik:

Yeah, I don't like you in the kitchen when I'm cooking. I know. And I like to clean, and you don't. No. That's not why. Because first of all, you don't necessarily know what I'm putting in things.

Rich:

I know and I be trying to correct you.

Nik:

And then when you see me doing certain things, you're like, Well, why are you doing that? How come this is happening and I like to cook. Like I mean, we both are fortunate that the tradition a lot of the traditional gender roles, we actually enjoy doing not that you enjoy shoveling the snow

Rich:

I don't mind. I mean is you know, especially when I come back in and I got some nice hot chocolate waiting on the table for him, you know, that's cool. I like you. I'm good.

Nik:

Yeah. And I mean I do those little things. Because to me, those are gestures of my appreciation, right? If it snows overnight and if you don't live in a place that snows sorry, you're missing out on all the fun.

Rich:

No, you're not you are so lucky. I wish I could be you.

Nik:

But if it snows overnight, and then you know it is it is my expectation and I think that gender roles have a lot to do with expectations. It is my expectation at this year in our marriage year 18, 19, 20 and 40 that when I go and get my car and raise up the garage that the snow is gone if you're if you're up before me now if I raise up the garage and the snow is not gone and you're gone, then I don't have a problem getting up and doing that labor. So, again, you're right, it's not that I'm incapable of doing it. It's just that I think in order for people to feel a certain level of fulfillment and contribution to marriages, I do think gender roles, play a factor in that. Because, you know, one of the gender roles that I'm not all that great at, you already know where I'm going with this.

Rich:

I do.

Nik:

What am I about to say?

Rich:

You're gonna say you're not the best cleaner in the world.

Nik:

I'm not.

Rich:

But you know what I would say, once again, no one role falls on any person's shoulders. 100%. You know, so, we always say that we're like, you know, you're my yin to my yang. You know, my best qualities and my worst qualities you make sure that you're able to fill in those gaps, and vice versa. And I think that that's one area where, okay, you don't feel like you're the best cleaner. So,

Nik:

I'm not.

Rich:

I'm gonna jump in there and I'm gonna help out. If I don't have the time, then you know what, we're gonna get a maid. Like, that's just me. That's how I feel about it is like, Look, I'm not gonna have my wife stressed out about something that, honestly isn't that big of a deal. And I think that sometimes, the way people are raised, they put so much pressure on their spouse to meet these gender roles, that it starts to create issues. And we actually talked about this the other day, because, you know, going back to the snow thing, right. So, it snowed a lot recently here in Colorado, if you didn't know if you're not a local listener, and I go out in the morning, I shovel the snow. I start my daughter's car, I start my truck, I start my wife's car, I get all three vehicles warmed up. I clear all the snow off my daughter's car because we don't have a three-car garage because when we bought this house, our kids were little. We wasn't even think about driving them driving. So, her car sits on the street, and it gets snow on it. And so, I get out there because once again, just like I don't want my wife out there, not about breaking no nail, I don't want my wife slipping on the ice. I don't want my wife's feet wet. I don't want my wife's hands cold like, to me, as her husband, I shouldn't want her to have to deal with those things. And so, the same thing happens for my daughters because I feel like the example that I set for them will be what their expectations are in a man in a marriage in their future relationships. So, I try to make sure I set the bar high. I'm not gonna lie to you gentlemen out there. I have two beautiful young women that are my daughters. And I'm setting the bar extremely freakin high.

Nik:

Really high.

Rich:

So, if you ain't an Olympic athlete that can jump over one of them high bars. Sit down, don't even come knock on the door. Don't come looking at them because

Nik:

You talking about the pole vault?

Rich:

I don't care. Any of them that gotta jump over a bar. You could be talking about the hurdler. At the end of the day. I try to set the bar high because I don't want my daughters to get out there and they slipping on the ice and falling down and hurting themselves because their husbands sitting in it because real talk. I have a neighbor that I have watched over the years. He parks his car in the garage, his wife does not. And he just has a bunch of junk in the other side. When it snows, he pulls out the garage, he does not shovel any snow and just moves out. I have watched him literally stand there and watch his daughter shovel the snow off her car and I'm not talking like a few inches. I'm talking like it was deep snow.

Nik:

It was several inches.

Rich:

And I've also watched this gentleman watch his daughter struggle trying to figure out how to drive in the snow as a new driver. And he legit jumps in the car, drives it to the end of the road and then tells her it works. come down here and get in it and had her walked like half a block to get into her car. And then she drove him back to the house. And I don't know his situation. Maybe he's got some physical conditions and some limitations, but I'ma be honest, I'm pretty sure he doesn't. But I don't want my daughter marrying a man like that. I don't want my wife feeling like that. So, for me, I'm cool taking over some gender roles that are going to allow my wife and my daughters to have some freedoms that they deserve to have.

Nik:

The expectations that come with gender roles, but there's also a certain amount of pressure that comes with gender roles, right? Because in our marriage structure, again, we're very traditional in most areas, and the fact that I'm not the best housekeeper. I'm a great cook, I'm a great cook. I can handle the kids schedules impeccably, you know, I can run them or I can do well you know, all these other things, but when it comes to that one aspect I do feel sometimes like I fall short and I know that some people who are listening, they might feel the same way not just women, but husbands, you might feel like you fall short in a certain gender role, because it's something that you don't like to do. Like, I just don't like to clean. I really hate to clean toilets. Like, it's just gross. And I had a really bad experience

Rich:

Did the water splash in your face?

Nik:

No.

Rich:

In your mouth?

Nik:

No.

Rich:

In your eye?

Nik:

No. So, my dad, he's military, and he was very, very hard, especially on me as the oldest child and I hated to clean the toilet. Like, I really believe that in a previous life, or somewhere in my current bloodline in my DNA, I come from royalty, and we didn't clean toilets. Okay. And when I was little, I hated to clean the toilet and my dad used to make me clean the toilet and he would say, well, that's why he got skin on hand so you can wash your hands and you know, stuff like that. sticks with me and I just hate cleaning toilets.

Rich:

You could put gloves on.

Nik:

But it's gross still.

Rich:

I thought you were going to say he made a huge toothbrush or something.

Nik:

No.

Rich:

That wasn't that bad.

Nik:

No, it's disgusting. It's gross. But the pressure that someone can put on themselves because they're not in their mind living up or fulfilling this gender role, can cause issue it can cause issue within that one person and it can cause issue and tension in the marriage. And for me, the way that I try to, I guess overcome that pressure is not to be so hard on myself because the fact of the matter is, my husband didn't marry me for my cleaning skills

Rich:

I didn't.

Nik:

And he doesn't put pressure on me and when he does make the occasional comment or statement

Rich:

I did like two days ago.

Nik:

He did then I have learned over the years to understand you know what, this is what he's saying. And I hear what he's saying. And I'm not just going to ignore it out of being spiteful or hateful, I will get up and, and clean up or if he's gone for a while, he travels a lot. And I know at hotels, the housekeeper comes in and cleans the room every day. So, when he comes home, I try to make it a habit of mine to make sure that our room and our bathroom and everything is clean, even the toilet because I know that's what he's been used to while he was away.

Rich:

I mean, I think that, you know, we've touched on it a couple times, but how you are raised has a direct impact. You know, my mom was a stay at home mom and took care of my sister and my brother and my dad, all of us, the dogs, all of us. My mom didn't go into the workforce until I was in middle school. So, I was probably 12, 13 years old. So, the first time 12 to 13 years of my life my mother was just taking care of the family from having sandwiches made to your lunch made breakfast like she get up. We have breakfast before we went to school like a legit breakfast. You know, even if it was just oatmeal, it's actually Malt-O-Meal. I hated Malt-O-Meal.

Nik:

It's disgusting.

Rich:

It's such a sidetrack, but let me tell you, if you've never had Malt-O-Meal,

Nik:

Don't try it.

Rich:

Don't try it. Like it's that bad. You might as well try some rat poison.

Nik:

Oatmeal is delicious.

Rich:

So, but my mom, she did all that right. And then when we were in middle school, and we were kind of little more self-sufficient. My mom went back to where she went to college, and she started volunteering at the school across the street from our house, and ultimately, she became a teacher. And so, the second half of my life, my mom was a working mother. And I remember, my mom had a, like, blood clot in her eye and everybody was stressed, cuz it's like, oh my god, this is mama. Mama don't get sick mama don't get hurt what's going on. And when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her that she was stressed and that it caused a

Nik:

Blood vessel.

Rich:

Yes, a blood vessel I took burst. And that day, my dad was like, everybody, including me. need we need to do better, because up to this point, my mom was juggling two types of roles. She was working a full-time job as a teacher. She was taking care of our family and trying to do it at that same level. She had been doing that. And she was literally driving herself into the grave. And none of us noticed it. And I think that happens also in gender roles when gender roles start to change over time, because they will, you know, if you have little kids, they need more attention than when they're a little bit older. They need more guidance; they need more hands on. So, in our own my own childhood, I watched those gender roles change because my mom went from being a stay at home mom taking care of everything. And my dad working to my mom and dad both working and then we as children had to step up, and we had to start doing some things that, you know, we knew how to do we just hadn't been doing.

Nik:

First of all, your mother's a superwoman,

Rich:

She is.

Nik:

and she's still a superwoman. And I never tried to be Mother Scott. Because there's like those shoes are literally and figuratively, way too big for me to even try to fill and I know that there's we have a lot of common personality traits. But your mom is dope. And to all the dope women much more dope than I am, and I'm pretty dope but I, I couldn't do, and I can't do what your mother did. And I've never tried to do it and thankfully you've never expected that of me.

Rich:

I mean, because like you said though you're dope in your own way. Ultimately, I married you, because you did have so many great qualities and you do have so many great qualities. And it wasn't because of your cleaning. It wasn't, you know, I mean, but so at the end of the day, I can't now 18 years later be like, oh my god, I want to divorce because you don't clean. Doggone it you wouldn't clean it when we met like, so I can't all of a sudden now be mad about something that I knew. It's like, you can't be mad that you buy a car with no satellite radio. 10 years after you've had it. You knew when you bought it, it didn't have no satellite radio. So, now all of a sudden you like it ain't got satellite radio, really like but there's other features that you fell in love with. And that's why you bought the car you bought, right? So, there's other features that I feel like that are just as important or more important, that drew our hearts together.

Nik:

A lot of times the things that we do, from the time we're a little boys and little girls were kind of pushed in these different directions and almost trained to be a certain way a certain type of girl or a certain type of boy like that's what boys do little girls don't go and play football. Like you your cheerleader. If you want to be on the football field, you be on the sideline, you'd be a cheerleader, and how those, I guess those early seeds that are planted can really start to sprout and grow into forests in marriages.

Rich:

The reality is those gender roles and gender identities that society places on people they have such a huge impact. You know, back when I was working in career counseling in the military, it would be like, I would go in and talk to these high school students. And I'd ask a simple question. If you want to go into the medical field, most women end up becoming nurses. Most men end up becoming doctors. And why is that? It's because we create these gender roles and these gender identities and these things that tell people this is what you're supposed to do. And we don't even realize we're doing it. But when your daughter wants to go hunting with you, and you're like, oh, that's not something girls really do, baby. You know, like I was telling you, I think yesterday at lunch, I was like, you know, my girls know how to go fish. And I'm pretty sure they can go fishing by themselves without me if they really wanted to. They know how to bait a hook. They know how to set the hook everything. And one of my children, they know a lot about football because they sit down and watch football with me. They're not sitting there like, I'm not kicking them out the room like oh, this is men stuff. And I think that that makes just a better well-rounded person. And I think that's the key to being able to have strong gender roles in a marriage is you have to be a well-rounded person because if you come into the marriage with these expectations of, you're a woman you're supposed to cook for me. You're gonna have issues in your marriage. If you come into it with well, you're a man you should know how to change the oil. You gonna have issues because maybe that young man never had anybody teach him how to change the oil. So, he doesn't know. Maybe that young woman is like one of our children who just like cooking ain't my thing. And if that's the case, that doesn't mean they're not as worthy, or that they're not, you know, a great husband or a great wife or a great spouse, it just means that there's gonna be some different roles within that marriage.

Nik:

We want to thank you so much for tuning in to this week's episode. We want you to truly have a happy marriage. We want you to continue to thrive in your marriages and indulge in your spouses on a regular basis. Don't forget to follow the Naked Proverbs on whatever podcasting platform you listen to your podcasts on. And we will talk to y'all in week 12.

Rich:

Peace out.

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