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Our weekend of BLACK LOVE


In Episode 026 of the Naked Proverbs podcast, Rich and Nik Scott share about their Valentine's Day weekend of Black love.



Nik:

Welcome back to the Naked Proverbs podcast where we unclothe the truth about Black love family and marriage. My name is Nik Scott, one of your hosts. And as always, I'm here with my husband,

Rich:

What's going on? It's your boy Rich. And today we're going to talk about a weekend of love.

Nik:

Right at the start of every episode, we always remind our listeners that we are not trained, licensed or professional therapists or counselors. We've been married quite a while and we use Naked Proverbs as our platform to share our advice, our experience our stories, and of course, our opinions.

Nik:

If you haven't already, make sure you're following the Naked Proverbs on whatever platform you listen to your podcasts on. And if you like what you hear, show us your love and support by giving us a five-star rating on iTunes or whatever platform you're currently listening on.

Rich:

This previous weekend, pushed me outside of my norm. For years, we have spent our Valentine's weekend or day or whatever it is together at home. We've made it a habit not to go out. And we've had some great times, you know, from cooking lamb together, to watching movies to just enjoying each other. But this past weekend,

Nik:

was ridiculous. I don't know who filled up our calendar like that. It was fun, right? It was super fun. On Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and today. We have stuff to do.

Rich:

And we got it in.

Nik:

But I'm still sleepy.

Rich:

I mean, well, let's see the first night we didn't even start our adventure. Until way after my bedtime.

Nik:

So, okay. So, we have friends of various ages. And this couple invited us out to what was called the Love Jones Experience.

Rich:

The Love Jones. Wait. Hold on. You got to say it right. It was the Love Jones Experience.

Nik:

Whatever.

Rich:

Y'all, I'm just gonna put this out there she is not a believer of Love Jones. So, don't hold it against my wonderful wife, but I'm just putting that out there.

Nik:

It's a solid C- movie.

Rich:

Okay. Anyway, that's not what we were talking about

Nik:

It's not but you got off topic, so I had to get off topic. Now. We got to get back on topic?

Rich:

Okay.

Nik:

Okay. So, we went to the Love Jones Experience downtown Denver. And it started at nine o'clock at night. And I remember when we were invited and I looked at the time that the thing started, because I'm thinking maybe it starts at seven, you know, going to listen to some live music and some spoken word poetry, nine o'clock. This thing started.

Rich:

Yeah, that's late, y'all. I don't know if y'all have heard me in the past, say, I go to bed about eight o'clock.

Nik:

6:30

Rich:

Well, that's when I'm real, real tired. But I mean normally

Rich:

6:30

Rich:

Okay, well, so, the point is, this was way after my bedtime, whether it's 6:30 or eight o'clock, doesn't matter, it was still at my bedtime. And it wasn't even starting until then. Right. So, I had to get my mind right. Because this couple, I really like them. They good, they're great people. Right? And so, when they invited us, I was excited. Because to me, it's always an honor when someone else chooses to share time with you.

Nik:

Yes.

Rich:

And especially this couple because they just they're the bomb. So, we got that you know opportunity. And we were driving going, well, before that, though, you watched Love Jones that afternoon.

Nik:

I was trying to get in the mood and spirit get my mind right.

Rich:

And then you were playing Love Jones on the road, as we would the soundtrack,

Nik:

Which is the bomb.

Rich:

So, what letter grade is that?

Nik:

The soundtrack? It gets an A+.

Rich:

Oh, yeah, exactly.

Rich:

So, then I'm like, oh, man, I should've drank me a Red Bull or something.

Nik:

You did.

Nik:

As we were heading out. But you know, I got there. The energy was amazing. We found great parking. Because if you don't know going downtown Denver anytime, day or night can be hard to find parking. So, we found great parking, but we get inside. They're there. They have amazing seats. Like front row, we can see the band we can get to the dance floor. I mean, it was amazing seats, right. And the place starts to fill up and I'm waiting. Because I'm ready.

Nik:

What are you waiting for?

Rich:

I'm ready to hear some spoken word. Some jazz.

Nik:

Yeah.

Rich:

Some something.

Nik:

Uh-huh.

Rich:

And it actually didn't start exactly on time.

Nik:

It started on time.

Rich:

Did it?

Nik:

No. See, and that's the thing.

Rich:

Oh. I didn't realize it. Nobody was speaking words to me.

Nik:

So, here's the thing. I think that we, along with the couple that we went with, we all had a different expectation of what was supposed to happen.

Rich:

Okay.

Nik:

We thought we were going to hear like I said, live music and spoken word. Well, that's not what this was. This was like a club setting. And so yes, the first live performer came on after nine o'clock. But if you remember, they started spinning records. Spinning records? Whatever DJs do in 2020.

Rich:

I don't think they spin records. But.

Nik:

Pushing buttons on the computer, whatever they do. They started doing that right around nine o'clock, it started to transition from like a restaurant into the lounge, club atmosphere.

Rich:

And you know, I mean, but the DJ was smooth. I mean,

Nik:

The DJ was good.

Rich:

What's his name?

Nik:

Big Styles. I think.

Rich:

I thought it was Skills?

Nik:

No, I'm pretty sure it was Big Styles.

Rich:

Well Big Styles. I'm gonna give you a shout out because you, you deserve it, you was cool. I mean, besides the fact, don't take this personally, but you was old enough to be my daddy,

Nik:

He wasn't that old. But he was older.

Rich:

It threw me off.

Nik:

He was spinning records back in the day.

Rich:

But he was legit like, so if you're looking for a good DJ, he's probably the guy if you can afford him because he's probably not cheap. So, we hung out all night, you know, had a great time. Like we said in the beginning, though, remember, didn't even start till 9pm so by the time we got home, it was what

Nik:

1:30 in the morning.

Rich:

1:30

Nik:

The next day.

Rich:

So. That was Thursday. Then you know I had to get up and go to work on Friday because I got to pay the bills.

Rich:

Yes, it was. And so, this was what? Thursday? I mean, I'm still sleep deprived. So, I'm still trying to figure out what day that was.

Nik:

It was that was Thursday.

Nik:

Still gotta get up.

Rich:

The kids needed to you know, that day they needed from us, etc. So, we had to make Friday get up and make it happen. Oh, but before we left for the concert, our oldest got sick. That messed up, kind of because it just threw us off, threw me off because I mean, I was dressed, y'all.

Nik:

Well, because and you don't like interruptions, like you're not good at

Rich:

I don't like interruptions, like how you just interrupted me. And I don't like, throw up at all. I mean, who does? But like, oh my God, my baby. It was like that projectile stuff and it was all over the carpet. So, we had to clean up everything and make sure before we left that she was really good. Because you know, even though we have older children, we still gotta make sure our babies are good. But anyway, so, by time we get home, get to bed. You know, it's tomorrow. We start Friday, and the whole time I'm not gonna lie to you. All I could think about was, oh my god. We are going out again tonight,

Nik:

Mmhmm. All day long.

Rich:

And like I dreaded it. Because I didn't want to go out, but I didn't dread the people we were hanging out with because this is another phenomenal couple that, like both these couples are like well-known like they get it in. So, it was, again, a very big honor. And to me it was like not only did you ask me to hang out with you, but you asked me to hang out with you on Valentine's night.

Nik:

That's right.

Rich:

Like this is that night people set aside for they boo thang. Right.

Nik:

Yeah.

Rich:

And you said we could hang out with y'all?

Nik:

We got invited to this event at the beginning of January. So, there was no way that we could renege or back out or anything like that, not that we wanted to. But we got invited, and it was a church event. So, of course, I'm like, how are we going to church on my birthday eve? And I wasn't feeling it. I wasn't feeling. You know how church events with the chicken dinners and the pastor gets up preaching and you know, and it just, I just wasn't feeling it. And I was tired. from Thursday, we get up into this place. These folks is dressed to the nines. Okay?

Rich:

Like, you know how on Easter people come in legit.

Nik:

They were.

Rich:

Man.

Nik:

They were dressed to the nines.

Rich:

I was glad I at least put on a suit.

Nik:

Yeah. Yeah, I'm glad I wore what I wore, too. It was, it was such a good event.

Rich:

It was.

Nik:

Oh my gosh, it was nothing like what I expected it to be. It had multiple guest pastors and speakers. And it wasn't really churchy.

Rich:

No, not. Look,

Nik:

Y'all know what I mean when I say churchy.

Rich:

Look, that pastor made me be like, I could almost go to your church.

Nik:

Well, and the sad thing is because, here's the sad thing, but also the good thing, sad but good is that the program was so good. There was so many good nuggets like it was designed specifically to help and encourage married people in those that want to be married and people were dropping gems. Folks that been married for 30 and 40 and 50 years, got up and shared their experiences, their raw true story

Rich:

Realness.

Rich:

It sounded like Naked Proverbs.

Nik:

It did

Rich:

On steroids.

Nik:

It was on steroids and in the church setting with no cussing.

Rich:

Yeah, cuz my wife likes to cuss. I realized that last episode, but anyway.

Nik:

Well, you knew that about me before you married me now? I cuss way less than I did back then. But the sad thing is, right. So, that was the good thing. The sad thing is the only thing that I can remember what was said, from the event on Friday night on Valentine's night is the wood is good.

Rich:

Now,

Nik:

That's what the pastor said. And yes, he was talking about wood.

Rich:

Because it wasn't just anybody but let me explain what he was talking about. Because to me, I found myself you know, first of all, as much as people believe that I love to go to events like this. I don't like to be the guy that doesn't know anybody in the room because I just, I mean, that's just not, in certain events, and especially when it's like, quote unquote, churchy events because I'm just not that guy. I grew up in the church. And I don't want to say I've distanced myself, but I've put some space in between me in super religious people, because I'm just not. I'm a very spiritual man, but I'm not a big religious man. Right.

Rich:

So, you know, like Nik said, there was that, oh, this is gonna be interesting. And so, for me when I got there, her and her friend hooked up, of course, because I mean, they like two peas in a pod. And her husband was working. So, I was like, you know what, I'ma just go be me. And they had this icebreaker where you had to go find somebody that had the same thing. So, something like has the same wedding month as you, or same number of children as you, so, it was all based around marriage and your relationship. So, I just started meeting people. And It helped me because I kind of broke down that oh my god, this is gonna be religious. And I really started to have some fun. And the people were so cool. And the wood is good. Let me tell you about the wood is good.

Nik:

The wood is good.

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Rich:

So, what happened was they were actually spitting some fat knowledge at one point we look, because they talked about the importance of sex in a marriage

Nik:

And regular sex, and we talked about that last week, it was so

Rich:

Exactly.

Rich:

And I mean, literally, Nik looks at me and says, that's what we just talked about.

Nik:

The same thing that we said.

Rich:

And you know, for me, it made me feel good, because when you have people that have been married for 50 years, getting up saying things that I know we have said on this podcast, it just made me say, hey, we doing the right thing.

Nik:

Yep.

Rich:

But let's get back to the word is good, right?

Nik:

Cuz it's good.

Rich:

It's good. I mean, we've been toasted to it at one point. I'm pretty sure

Nik:

We did.

Rich:

Because I said it. I mean, I got that. I mean, we talking it's 80 plus people in the room, the wood is good.

Rich:

So, what the pastor and his wife were actually talking about, with three little pigs.

Nik:

Yeah.

Rich:

Now I know y'all did not expect me to say that. Did you? They were talking about building your marriage and preparing for the big bad wolf that can come, the storms and the wind and talking about how when you don't build your marriage, well that if you're like that first pig, they said he built it of straw. And how the winds came, blew it down, you know, so that was signifying your marriage, right? The second one, and this is what the pastor was like the wood. The wood. Because you know his wife, she was a great balance to him.

Nik:

Yeah.

Rich:

And she was like, you know, the second one built his house around wood. And he's like the wood is good.

Nik:

And you know as a roomful of merry folks, so we just took it a whole different direction.

Rich:

You say we talking about the wood, right? We ain't talking about the wood, we talking about THE wood. But you know what he said, the wood is good. But it ain't good enough. It ain't all you need. So, you can just take a portion of the message and be good with it right? You got to listen to the whole thing.

Rich:

So, then also they talked about that final house that was built with brick, you know and mortar, and it takes time to build a house with brick and mortar.

Nik:

Yeah.

Rich:

And how that house, you know, the fire could come, the wind can come, the rain can come, and that marriage will last, and I think that was just great. Even though everybody, everybody took the word is good. Ultimately remember, it's not good enough. So, just because you givin great. What I like to say baby,

Nik:

The Dick.

Rich:

Just because you give them great dick. Understand that's not good enough to keep a marriage going strong. It's good enough to keep some smiles on our face, on your face. But you know, it's not what really makes a marriage a marriage. Right?

Nik:

Right. So that was Valentine's Day night and we didn't stay out quite as late. In fact, we left early but when we left, they were on the dance floor doing one of

Rich:

The limbo no they was doing the Cupid Shuffle.

Nik:

Oh, it was the Cupid Shuffle, I was gonna say Cha-Cha Slide.

Rich:

They had just finished the limbo.

Nik:

Yep. They did the limbo.

Rich:

So yeah, this this this thing was live.

Nik:

It was lit.

Rich:

I loved it. I would go back.

Nik:

It was lit. It was a beautiful occasion. And it was beautiful to see all of the couples that were there, because the majority of the people went to the church so, they kind of knew what to expect. And they knew that this was like an opportunity to build their marriage. We had no idea we were going to like a mini retreat, because that's ultimately what it was. We played games. We worked together to solve riddles. Like it was such a good, good, good occasion. It's almost like I wish we could have had the video camera and audio. So, we could have streamed live on to Naked Proverbs.

Rich:

You know what we're going to have to do? We're gonna have to hire us a video person just to follow us. Because real talk, this week, previous week I guess now, we had have amazing conversations that have sparked potential topics in the future. Like just sitting there just talking about things and I think maybe we need to hire somebody. Almost do like, what does that show where people used to live in your house and just follow you?

Nik:

Oh, Real World?

Rich:

Yeah, we could just do Real World. So, let's just post cameras all over our house. Always record everything we're doing.

Nik:

Yeah, no.

Nik:

Okay, No, but seriously, I think that this weekend, really showed the importance of connecting not as a couple together by connecting with other married couples and I've said it before on this podcast, how important it is to have marriage mentors, because we have mentors in every other area of our lives. Right. And the couple we went with both the couples on Thursday and Friday, they're both married fewer years than us. However, being around them and seeing the love that they have for each other. Still. They've both been married for more than 10 years. And they have children and you know

Rich:

Okay.

Rich:

lives and all those things that cause those marriages to slow down.

Nik:

Yep.

Rich:

But they're not allowing that to happen.

Nik:

Nope.

Rich:

And, you know, I have to totally agree with what you're saying.

Nik:

So, it's important yes to connect, you know, with the wood, because it's good. And make sure that you as a married couple are keeping that flame going, like we talked about a few weeks ago. But it's also important to be in the midst of other happy couples, and there was a room full on Friday night, and even if they weren't happy, we've talked about this too, about how important it is to take those steps to make sure that things are going in the right direction. And if they're not to get them back on track, to go in the right direction. And so then, of course, Saturday comes around, and I'm still sleepy from Thursday. Because we stayed out Thursday, we stayed out Friday. And we had to get up early. You had an event to do for work which was successful.

Rich:

I had work stuff. It was great.

Nik:

And then we're, we went out again.

Rich:

Because you know what yesterday was? It was somebody's birthday. So, we had to celebrate life. And I'm not gonna lie. I woke everybody up. I woke up the kids. I woke up the birthday girl. I woke up the dogs. Because I was excited. Like, not only because now the person sitting next to me is as old as me, which is important.

Nik:

I will never be as old as you. You were born before, a whole year before me.

Rich:

So, if somebody asks how old you are, what you gonna say? You gonna be like them mamas that'd be like my child is 36 months old.

Nik:

Exactly. Yeah. So

Rich:

You gonna say yo age, and when I say my age, they gonna be like, oh, wow. Then, mean because I'ma be real with y'all. Sometimes it's frustrating when people act like my wife is one of the kids, and I just look like the old father, I guess. Like, that gets old. So.

Nik:

Nobody has ever called you our daddy.

Rich:

What? You said you ain't ever call me daddy.

Nik:

I call you daddy all the time. I said nobody has ever said that. They say that me and the girls are sisters. That doesn't automatically mean that you're the dad you could be like the big cousin or something. Uncle.

Rich:

You even hear how stupid that sounded? So, anyway, so yeah, so then that was like you know, we had a work event and I mean, cuz you were working to you know, and then we had little recovery time. Then it was like we had to hit them streets again. Yeah, cuz my nephew.

Nik:

Our nephew who's awesome, amazing and brilliant Black boy.

Rich:

He's a genius. Like, I'm telling you he will give Einstein a run for his money. Like he's for real, that kind of genius.

Nik:

And he's smart enough to know how important theater arts is to his well-being and his well roundedness as an individual and a Black man. Yep. And so, he is working on the crew for a play at his school. And so, we went to go see the musical. I love musicals.

Rich:

And I love him. That's my boy. You know? I mean, as y'all know, I have no sons. And so, his mom is like my sister. I've known her as long as I've known my wife, literally. I met them probably same day. So, you know, he's like, my little son in some ways. You know, he listens to me, and I mentor him, and you know, we go to lunch sometimes, and that's my buddy. And so, he invited me. So, I was like, hey, you know, that's ya auntie's birthday, but we're gonna be there. So, that took up our evening on Saturday.

Nik:

And then today we have a birthday party. Another great married couple.

Rich:

Like they are my goals.

Nik:

In every aspect of life.

Rich:

I have two sets of friends here that are like my goals. One we spent Christmas with

Nik:

Who do we spend Christmas with?

Rich:

You know, we spent Christmas whose house we went to have barbecue chicken.

Nik:

Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay.

Rich:

So, that's one of my goals.

Nik:

Christmas was so long ago. I'm sorry.

Rich:

I know.

Rich:

I know. Especially after we had the weekend, we've had but this other one, this other set that we get to see this later today. Man, I can't even put into words.

Nik:

They're amazing.

Rich:

They are amazing.

Nik:

They're amazing.

Rich:

Just that's all I can say. Right? So, that's gonna kind of wrap up this long weekend of love where we did everything from have a Love Jones Experience, to talking about rollover.

Nik:

Oh yeah.

Rich:

Let me give you the wood, to seeing a play together to ultimately wishing our friend happy birthday.

Nik:

Thanks, so much for tuning in to this week's episode of the Naked Proverbs podcast. We want you to truly have a happy marriage. We want you to continue to thrive in your marriages and indulge in your spouses on a regular basis. Don't forget to follow the Naked Proverbs on whatever podcasting platform you listen on. And we will talk to y'all in the next episode.

Rich:

Peace.

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