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Women who want to pop the question: DON'T!!!


In Episode 020 of the Naked Proverbs podcast, Rich and Nik Scott talk about women who propose to their men.



Nik:

Welcome back to the Naked Proverbs podcast where we unclothe the truth about Black love family and marriage. My name is Nik Scott, one of your hosts, and I'm here with my husband,

Rich:

Hey, it's your boy Rich. And today we are talking about, will you marry me? Who makes the proposal?

Nik:

Right at the start of every episode, we always remind our listeners that we are not trained, licensed or professional therapists or counselors. We've been married a very long time and Naked Proverbs is our platform to share our stories, our opinions, our advice, and of course, our experiences. If you haven't already, make sure that you're following Naked Proverbs on whatever podcasting platform you are listening on. And if you like what you hear, show us your love and support by giving us a five-star rating on iTunes or wherever you're listening right now.

Rich:

As always, we want to say thank you to our listeners. Thank you for tuning in once again. So, who's supposed to ask, will you marry me?

Nik:

The man.

Rich:

Why?

Nik:

Because that's what they said.

Rich:

Who's they?

Nik:

Them.

Rich:

Them who?

Nik:

They. They said that men are supposed to propose to women. And that's just the way it's supposed to be.

Rich:

So, them that they said it, means that it's got to be.

Nik:

Yes.

Rich:

You know, I was sitting there, and I was looking through the internet's you know, because the internet's got a lot of stuff in it, and it said that there were some celebrities, who recently and in the past have popped the question. Now, you know, that got me to looking because I'm like, oh, who's getting married? What man proposed to what woman? Right? Cuz that's what I was leading to believe. And then, I hit the go button.

Nik:

And it's all true. Mm hmm.

Rich:

And I started seeing names. And they didn't sound like men names.

Nik:

Mm hmm.

Rich:

These were nine female celebrities who popped the question. And more importantly, got engaged.

Nik:

That's crazy to me. I would never, then, and I certainly wouldn't do it now ask a man...like, who does that? It's one thing when a woman asks a man on a date, right? Maybe not. Like, if you want something, I believe that you should go after it. But then to ask a man to marry you if he doesn't want to marry you and you have to force his hand literally, by you getting on, like, what does that even look like? When a woman asks a man to marry her?

Rich:

Well, I don't know what it looks like. But I know this. If you would have got on one knee and proposed to me. We wouldn't be sitting here today.

Nik:

You would have said no?

Rich:

Hell yes. There ain't no way. Because I personally, like, you know, like you say in the beginning this our podcast, it's our views, this our opinions. This this my opinion y'all. A woman that proposes to a man has stepped so far out of normalcy, like this isn't about men and women roles, but to me when you force a man's hand, because you're ready to be married, and he's not ready, because if he hasn't proposed, he's not ready. And then you wonder why you have issues, or you wonder why there's things going on, because you forced him to do something, he wasn't ready to do. So, for me, that would have been an ultimatum. That if you would have came to me time out, getting on one knee, especially in front of my boys embarrassing me. And will you marry me? For real, yep, you would have got a no. And that would have been the end of our relationship. Because there is no way in hell I would be pressured into marriage. And it's not just about the status quo, or how things have always been done. But to me, there's a level of pressure that's being placed on that man. Because it is very different. Because women have said no to marriage for years. Like, every woman that gets proposed to doesn't say yes. So, to me, I just feel like if a woman goes and proposes what's really going on? Like, who's, who's the head of the house? Who's wearing the pants? Who's running things? Cuz you're a little bitch, if you say yes. So.

Nik:

Because he's got the option to say no, and let's be clear, I said it already. I would not have proposed to anybody. If you want me, you better come get me because I am not chasing you. You chase me, period.

Rich:

I mean, does he also have her open his door for him?

Nik:

Probably.

Rich:

And shovel the snow.

Nik:

Yeah.

Rich:

Come on be a man.

You're listening to the Naked Proverbs podcast with Rich and Nik Scott. If you like what you're hearing, show your support by becoming a patron. All of our patrons receive exclusive benefits like behind the scenes content, access to bonus audio, and Naked Proverbs merchandise. To learn more and to become a patron, visit the Naked Proverbs Patreon page www.patreon.com/nakedproverbs

Nik:

Well, these celebrities let's be clear, these celebrities and none of them on this list, and I will make sure that I post the article on Patreon. So, if you're a patron you can see this article but none of these celebrities

Rich:

Look like me. Look like us.

Nik:

But there's some surprising names on this list and some of the women I am surprised quite actually that they would have come out of it. But then again, am I surprised that they would because these are probably alpha females. I'm an alpha female. And these women may make more money than some of the men that they proposed to. So, maybe they just felt like, he better get this before I go get somebody else.

Rich:

I'm a Kappa man. And that ain't gonna work up in here where I'm from. So, like I said, you could be whatever kind of female you want. You could be whatever kind of man you want. But I'm a Nupe. And I'm telling you now won't be no proposing from no woman. Coming out my loins, so I'm gonna make sure my daughters understand that hey, how it go. If you want to be married, then, you know, because while we are not a biblical podcast, the Bible says,

Nik:

Oh goodness.

Rich:

He who finds a wife, finds a good thing. It don't say she who went dropped on one knee and said, will you marry me has found a good man. Now let me take off my soapbox hat. But

Nik:

Your pastor hat. Well, let's be clear one of our daughters actually is, I be surprised. Let me just say if she got on one knee, I would be shocked

Rich:

She fell. It wasn't on purpose.

Nik:

She did fall, but

Rich:

I'm saying she'd have to before she got on one knee.

Nik:

She would have.

Rich:

It wouldn't be on purpose.

Nik:

No, she wouldn't. No, no, no, no, no. Just no. I don't see any situation when it would be deemed appropriate in our community or in anybody else's community for a woman to propose to a man. It just shows how desperate and thirsty she is to be married. Like how thirsty do you got to be to go to the jewelry store or to call your jeweler and come to your house and be like, ooh, you know what, let me ask his mama for his hand in marriage. Like

Rich:

You know them women didn't do that.

Nik:

what in the world. Like, I just don't understand. You're going to the jewelry store and you're like I'm about to propose. And what does engagement ring for a man look like?

Rich:

No. What does a man that gets proposed to look like?

Nik:

These men that I'm looking at right here.

Rich:

What does that even entail? I mean, like. I'ma be honest. I am confused at how that even happens. I mean, I, yeah, I'm speechless.

Nik:

Because they're thirsty women. Like they really, really, really, really want to be married. And instead of allowing their boyfriend to do the thing that he is supposed to do, they decide that they want to take control like this to me. There's so many things. A) She's thirsty, whoever she is. All nine of these women in this article were thirsty.

Rich:

I agree.

Nik:

B) They are controlling women, and they want to have complete control over everything in the relationship, including the proposal. Like these things just don't

Rich:

So, does his family have to pay for the marriage?

Nik:

Yes, of course. Yes, of course. I don't think people pay for marriages in those traditional ways anyway, anymore. I think that people are paying for their own marriages. I don't know if it's the father of the bride who pays for weddings anymore.

Rich:

So, I can go and spend all the money I saved for my daughter's wedding?

Nik:

You better go talk to your daughters about that.

Rich:

I'm pretty traditional. So.

Nik:

You are very traditional. You are very traditional. And I mean,

Rich:

Unless they propose.

Nik:

I'm not traditional in a lot of ways, but even with that, I'm like, dude, who? First of all, fellas, who are you that are watching your woman get down on one knee and saying, h, yeah...I mean, are you crying? Like what does this look like? Is it on social media? I would love to see, like some women proposing to men and see what that looks like.

Rich:

I guess I don't really even know where it came from. But I really don't care either. I just think that it's so far out there for me and my comfort zone. That I'm glad you didn't propose to me.

Nik:

I wasn't going to.

Rich:

And I hope that my daughters understand that that is not what should be expected. Because like you said earlier, there's a lot of negative reasons that they could be proposing that maybe they don't even realize or understand and those will create issues in your marriage. It will.

Nik:

It sets the foundation for problems in your marriage. Because at what point does the man get to step up and do the thing that he should be doing. At what point does he do that? If the woman is already starting the marriage off saying, I'm in charge, and I'm running this, and I'm the man, and you're not. At what point do those roles start to change or switch? And not saying that every marriage has to be traditional like ours. But I do believe that there are things that men should be doing for women. We talked about it in earlier podcasts about chivalry and opening doors and how you go out and shovel the snow and I do the cooking and things like that and not saying that women always have to cook because there's some great men cooks out there, but in terms of taking care of a woman and courting a woman and, and, and wanting to have a man, just lust and love you, lust after you and love you. How is that supposed to happen if you're, if you're literally like I said, forcing his hand and getting on one knee and making him marry you.

Rich:

Yeah, I don't think it's something I would want. I ain't interested in it. Good luck to you guys that said I do.

Nik:

Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of the Naked Proverbs. We want you to truly have a happy marriage. We want you to continue to thrive in your marriages and indulge in your spouses on a regular basis. Don't forget to follow the Naked Proverbs on whatever platform you are listening on. And we will talk to y'all.

Rich:

Peace.

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